| Racers
will gather down at the shore and pick their own winner [stone]. Before
race everyone pick his or her favourite stone, rock or boulder. The race
is not open for pebbles (se below under Contestants
and Note). Since we have plenty of stones, boulders and
rocks spread out, in a not too uneven layer, all over the shoreline - this
should not present any bigger problem. (Make
sure you remember which stone is yours - this is very helpful later on
during the race). |
 |
Measures and initial position
Race
stone must be of minimum size 2 (two) feet across. Recommended size though,
is one to two (1-2) meters (roughly 3-6 feet) see Hints
below. The stone can be close to the waters edge but well away from the
shoreline, the stone must not be covered by water (see below under Race
and winner).
Contestants
The
race has amateur status worldwide and there are no qualification races.
The race is open for native Ladonian stones only in the first place. The
race can accept foreign competitors under special permission and only
after doping tests and valid vaccination papers.
Pet
rocks, fossils, meteorites, petrified alien skeletons and other
semi-professional contestants might race under special circumstances.
Absent
drug testing and doping test are no options in these cases!
(See
below under Note).
Racers
with foreign stones (see above) will know that claims what so ever for
hefty shipping cost (from Texas - or anywhere) will not be
considered!
Racers race on their own risk and expense.
Observe, that all racing stones (foreign or native) must comply with the stone mass factor of native Ladonian stones. (+/- 2 % deviation is accepted). This means generally that a stone younger than 600 million years is not accepted.
Start,
race and winner
After
that all Stone racers have picked a Race Stone (see Tactics
below) the starter will announce a time for the race to begin. When the
time comes, the starter will say his: “Gentlemen, my ladies, gentle
women and others - choose your stone!”
And after noting that all is ready by or on their stone, the
starter utters the now famous words: “Ready, Steady, Sit down”
Then all
racers will kick back, relax to wait and see if their stone make a
breakneck journey across the Ladonian shore down to the waterline.
Betting
is totally allowed and refreshingly non-illegal. And remember, racing is
more important than winning!
The
relaxed starting doesn’t allow for false starts so that we don’t have
to deal with.
If a racer unfortunately is split
in twain, the racer has double the chances of winning only in the freak
occurrence that the stone is split exactly in half. Otherwise the racer
goes on with the race, now racing with the biggest bite. Judges will weigh
with letter balance exactness if it's not obvious which part is the bigger.
The
racer whom’s Race Stone first making it to the waterline (see Note
below) is not the winner of the race. This only indicates that the race is
over and that the measuring takes place! The winner is the racer with the
race stone that has travelled the longest way during the race.
The measuring is done in foot
and inch. (The foot is the actual size of the foot of Cultural Attaché -
Minister of Art & Jump, which so happens to be 260 mm. The inch is the
length of the thumb of the same Cultural Attaché and Minister of Art
& Jump, which is 30 mm).
Clothing
(uniforms)
Racers
may use whatever clothing or uniforms they see fit. Traditional rules
ethics and regulation applies. Skimpy shorts and tank tops, body paint
(this is highly encouraged), hats and bandannas are usual.
Race
Jury and Race Judge
As
in other cases the Cabinet transform into Court and takes all racers under
consideration. Claims and accusations to be dealt with in a Double ÿP!
Yellow card-ish way if necessary. Chez Le Screemin’ Bass’ Bartenders
views will be taken into special consideration as verdicts as both Judge
and Jury.
Hints
Since
it’s a long race, choosing a big stone in the sun means you can lie down
on it and warm your tired self while thinking about nice things, watching
the cloud races and perhaps waving to the other stone-racers. Lying on the
stone also means that you can hitch a ride on it’s back during the race
and thus letting yourself rest during the race.
A
tip is to bring your own beverage and food and make a pit stop in Chez le
Screemin’ Bass. (There you can bring all your drinks, hand them over to
The Bartender and pay a modest service-fee to get them served to you in
the order and fashion as you and The Bartender agree upon.)
On a lucky day our Lord Sigwhig, Minister of Idleness, might honour
the bar with his actual presence in the flesh, serving the brought
beverage.
It
is easy to follow the Stone-race from the bar since there is a wide
panorama-whole in the wall.
Tactics
Being
a fairly slow race, with traditional measures, there might be tactical
issues to consider! Use your creativity and imagination while picking your
winning stone. There aren’t two stones alike or two positions alike. The
obvious winner might not be as good as one first can imagine. Who knows
for instance what nature forces that will apply them selves to what stone
on the Ladonian shore?
Luck
might play a big role in the race, but tactical choices and creative
imagination will surely help. The boulder or stone you pick can be
overgrown with seaweed on the bottom side. It might glide better that way.
You never know. A rock can also be more exposed to freak twisters or
lightning strikes and therefore gaining a big lead. One can also calculate
possible snowdrift influence. May the best stone and racer be lucky!
Note
·
All
cheating is prohibited. Cheating is not allowed. Cheaters will be expelled
and disqualified for the rest of the race. Controls will take place
randomly and without forewarning.
·
The
waterline at the start of the race is what is also considered finishing
line. If the waterline goes up depending on tide, wind and weather during
the race it doesn’t affect the outcome of the race. A stone covered in
water isn’t the same as a stone reaching the water.
·
No
help as nudging, kicking, shouting, whipping or coaxing in any way is
allowed! Patting is on the other hand allowed, but no lifting of any sort!
Stone brutality will not be accepted! Racers that display inappropriate
behaviour towards their stone will be disqualified.
·
If
the audience intervene unknowingly and moving a Race Stone this is
considered a force of nature. The Ministry of Art & Jump will judge,
or appoint someone to judge how unsuspecting the audience influence is in
that case.
·
Each
contestant may mark his or her own stone for easier recognition. Be
advised, in cases where racers start nagging over who’s stone is who’s
– disqualification has taken place in the past. Duct
tape is the only sanctioned means for marking of Race Stones.
·
The
race is not open for Pebbles; this is to not make the
mistake of ending up with pebbles on steroids in the starting fields. This
is today sadly a huge problem throughout the stone racing community abroad.
Even if yet a stoned pebble in Ladonia have to be found, we are not
willing to risk encouraging the doping subculture among the Ladonian
stones. Drugs and stone racing does not belong together. Fine racing
stones has come to sad ends in the past. Winners
do not use drugs.
Drugs
= Verboten!
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Deeper philosophical meaning behind the seemingly dimwit race. “The only
thing constant, is change”
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History of Ladonia Stone Race
The
Ladonia Stone Race, as we know it today, bears little or no resemblance
with its ancient forerunner. In fact it was neither a game nor a
competition in those long gone days that disappear in the mists of time.
Only Ladon knows how old this tradition is or how far back it dates. But
well preserved rolls tells about The Three Wise of Ladon who every 100
year met on the shores of Ladonia and held meetings, that where both court,
and sacred meditation-like gatherings. Our old stories tell about The
Three Wise that came together to sit. They sat on the stones and boulders
of our ancient Ladonian shore and watched civilisations be born, grow old
and crumble into dust.
They
held the torch of knowledge and didn’t grow old as the rest of the
humans around them. It’s said that they where “the Eternals” (a
honorary title still given to Ladonian Ministers of today). They never ate
during their “court-meetings” (to use a notion we can understand, but
that holds little or no resemblance with what The Wise actually where
doing).
Their meetings could go on for up to five years at the time and they were
not asleep and not awake. The Wise where at these meetings like in a
suspended animation, something that looked like trance or meditation. They
where the guardians of time and space and had a key role in transition
from winter to summer and other phenomenon we can only start to wonder
about. Some say that they where the ones that saw to it that civilisations
was born, other says they where the force that conceived the world
and reality as we know it today (not that we know much, but the more we
learn the more evident it is that we know so very little).
Some
ancient stories says that the Eternals where the key to
Intelligence, Imagination and Creativity. We can only hope to understand
what role they played in the eons that has passed. But today we honour
their memory with the Ladonian Stone Race that springs from their sitting
on the stones. This racing might help us get closer to the elements; help
us gain an understanding for the nature of things. And maybe even bring us
closer to our minds, our human nature and ourselves. The race let us
contact our inner self and help us rest our restless minds bent on
activities.
Ladonia
Stone Race is probably the only race in the world that truly does anything
to people.
Ministry
of Art & Jump
Wotan
City, Ladonia