Ladonia Space project of Ladonia forming (terra forming) planets with potatoes

I propose the Ladonian space-program start Ladonia-forming (popularly called terra-forming in other circumstances) the planets Mars and Venus with potatoes.

The project involves using gene-modified potatoes with genes taken from Ladonian seaweed. This will make them much stronger (the potatoes) and a lot more durable. They will work better and transform the planets atmosphere to get a faster development towards the point where the atmosphere accelerates and start working for us instead of against us (as it will do in the beginning due to lack of oxygen). It will also look fantastic with the green crops against the reddish Mars-surface, and thus bringing an artful approach to a space program! 

Earth based offspring

The seaweed gene modified potato project will also provide an offspring. It will make it possible to grow lots and lots and lots of potatoes on the Ladonian stony shore and along the shoreline. They will grow strong between the stones and boulders and will actually not need much soil. And from growing in saltwater they will be ready direct after a little cooking. Presalted potatoes!! This is a revolution in the kitchen. Never again you have to stretch yourself after the salt or buy salt for your potatoes. And making crisps will be very easy! Just slice the Ladonian Seaweed-potato and chuck it in the oven. Et Voila! 200 degrees C. for approximately 10-15 minutes will make excellent salted potato chips!!!  This is of course an excellent export product.

It might very well provide us with more than one crop a year, since the seaweed growth season is so much longer than traditional potato season. The ministry is occupied in looking into the matter at the moment.

Cheap ground material

The project will be possible in a very cheap way as well. Since the potato doesn’t need oxygen (and actually produces it itself during the flight to Mars – or any other planet we might want to Ladoniaform). Venus is the next obvious place to go for example. The seaweed gene potato will also be very durable to heat exposure during growth cycle.

We can get old rockets cheap from ESA, NASA and former USSR. They will practically give them away. And since long-range missiles are being junked in heaps we can get those intercontinental ballistic missiles very cheap.

All we have to do pre launch is to fill up the rockets with seaweed potatoes, and a bit of seawater (which come very cheap – in fact free). Account for the growth so the rocket doesn’t explode from growing potatoes. Experiment’s in this matter is conducted. After launch all is taken care off. When approaching the planets (Mars or Venus) atmosphere the rockets use the atmosphere as a rock skipping over a water surface to slow down and are programmed to land in a extremely low angel. This way the rocket will actually work as a plough and force the potatoes into and over the surface in a safe and agricultural manner.

With the right planning of trajectories we could plant the potatoes from space and not even needing to land. Then we can plant them in formation so we can actually "write" on the mars-surface. We could create the Ladonian Weapon with Ladonia and the apple and we would get it in nice potato-leave-green against the rusty red surface - Very artful.  On the plus side we have the enormous advantage with Ladonia-forming a whole new planet and expanding the Ladonian territories.

Potatoes will be ejected from the backside of the rocket. Several metric tons of water, soil and potato will be spread out with every rocket grounding. Several amounts of oxygen and other gases will also find its way into the atmosphere at the same time. Calculations are being carried out over how many rocket-landings we will need before its time to send colonisation personnel.

Agricultural aspects and export possibilities

All rockets will be stripped of anything environmental hazardous and all rocket fuel will be used up during the trip. During the long travel trough the atmosphere the rocket will be partly incinerated and thoroughly disinfected. The only thing left will be shattered metal, which will in fact be part of the landscape over time. It will rust and provide valuable minerals to the planets surface. We don’t know for sure yet how big these modified potatoes will grow in the lower gravity-field. The soil is of course a bit leaner than earth so that might hinder the growth.

The last step (when the planets atmosphere starts thickening) would be to send farm people there to harvest and set up distillery and start to colonize. Ladonian Space Liquer will be the obvious next export product. The alcohol created will also work nicely as fuel and for heating on the planet. Farm people are so much cheaper personnel then for example astronauts (that one have to admit are used to very high salary and lots of outrageous perks).

Developing the idea further
Growing giant potatoes in space

Another field is to plant potatoes directly in space. Under a sealed special plastic tent that will create a sort of a biosphere and be able to stretch we might be able to grow enormous size potatoes. If properly [slowly] exposed to space a big enough potato would develop it's own atmosphere. Of course that would take a lot bigger potatoes even bigger than Idaho-, Sweden- or black-earth Russian-ones. It would perhaps take a potato the size of our moon and that would be able to contain its atmosphere during a shorter time span (say a couple of million years, which is very short on a interstellar scale). But this will definitely expand the Ladonian territories immensely by creating a habitual planet from scratch [potatoes, in fact].

What shall we produce and export?

We could start exporting Ladonian Race Stones. This might only include smaller rocks and pebbles due to hefty shipping costs. If we export the pebbles, we in the race commity feel safe that pebbles on steroids also will be a lesser of a problem in the future among Ladonian Stone Race starting fields ;)

The Day of Artful Jumps

The Ministry of Art & Jump would like to propose a day of Jump and Art. We want to label it "the day of artful jumps" and proposed date is July 18. That happens to be the exact date the Minister of Art & Jump officially started the "HopArt Tour" in 2002.

"The day of artful jumps" is the day when all citizens can (and should) make jumps for no reason at all, more than just to make it artful, if they wish. They can also use "the day of artful jumps" to protest against the order of things or to make a statement of some sort. I think it's suitable to put the jumpday in the middle of the summer, for practical reasons.

Creating a cheap and effective protection for Ladonia

We can use payphones for people to phone in insults against us (Ladonia) and then putting up loudspeakers in the forest along our borders and let them play up the insults, thus surrounding Ladonia with a wall of deadly insults to keep off intruders. This will not cost much since the payphones will actually get us money in the process.

The Ministry also engages in more philosophical questions, like speculations about future linguistics  

Perhaps people will speak some kind of greater language-groups than we have today. "The global village" must in effect have an impact on language in the future. I think they perhaps will speak english-spanish in Europe/america (south and north) thus making it "Spanglish".

Some will perhaps speak "frenglish" (french-english) and some "germlish" (german-english). [One can actually, as we speak, (no pun;) see indications of such linguistic development in american english already today.]

And in asia they will perhaps speak "asian" in a jap-chin-hindu mix ("hinjapese").

In the long run, say in a millenia or so of "global-village-communication" everybody will speak "earthling". Perhaps a language like Esperanto will revive and come back in great style?

...and minor problems like international diplomacy during warfare.

After the Iraq war broke lose, a suggestion came from the Secretary of State that Ladonia could offer Saddam and Bush asylum in Ladonia - since they would be great tourist attractions. And at the same time steal the oil in Iraq by digging a tunnel from Ladonia to Iraq. The Minister of Art & Jump came up with the following scenario and suggestion:

This is a very artful way of solving this little diplomatic dilemma. The whole thing has so far not been very artful and not very erotic. So I say start shovelling! I have calculated the angle to about 35 degrees (no, I will tell the truth, I am lying - but I did estimate it very roughly, so it was just a little lie). Did I say angle? I meant angel, but we need not an angel but it's counterpart; namely a little devil (not THE Devil, just one of his minor subjects, (perhaps a lower demon) He Himself is surely very busy working in Iraq these days). Anyway, the reason for bringing a little devil is simple. Devils are used to underground work and shovelling.

Anyway. The angle must be adjusted some times to pretty steep sometimes and less steep other times – taking into consideration the waters we have to pass (Baltic Sea and mediterranean- in particular the latter since it's very deep. And another reason for bringing a devil or two along for shovelling; when we get to Iraq we could bring Saddam back trough the tunnel, the devil(s) comes in handy (so we won't end up with a fake Saddam!) according to the "it takes one to know one"-principle!

When back in Ladonia we use the newly found oil-money to build a little theme park with Saddam and Hussein in a cage where they can be swinging baseball bats, harsh words and perhaps involve in fistfight and such. We can also let people visit them one-on-one and get some smart advice on how to run a country, run amok, problem solving, propaganda and also other things like anger-control, argumentation and conversation technique.